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Q. If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? A. Pilgrims
Q. What goes “gobble, gobble, ha-ha-ha, plop”? A. A turkey laughing its head off.
Q. Why do turkeys go “gobble, gobble”? A. Because they never learned good table manners
Q. What kind of music do Pilgrims listen to? A. Plymouth rock
Q. What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving? A. The letter g
Q. Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A. To improve his bite.
Q. How do witches keep their hair in place while flying?
A. With scare spray.
Q. Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?
A. No, they eat the fingers separately.
Q. What is a ghost’s favorite candy? A. Boo-ble gum!
Q. Who did the ghost take to the movies? A. His ghoul-friend!
Q. What did one grave say to another? A. Is that you cough-in (coffin)?!
Q. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? A. Frostbite.
Q. Why do witches use brooms to fly on? A. Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
When you want to get really good and grubby, try out our new worm jokes. We’ve got a whole can of worm jokes to help keep you and your friends laughing all day!
Q. Why was the thirsty alien hanging around the computer? A. He was looking for the space bar!
Student: Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet? Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: They found fleas on Pluto!
Earthling: We put a man on the moon in 1969. Martian: Big deal! We’re going to send a team to the sun. Earthling: You’re crazy! They’ll be burned up before they even get close. Martian: We’re not that stupid! We’re sending them up at night!
Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night. His Friend: Was it any good? Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring. His Friend: How come? Cool Teenage Martian: There was no atmosphere.
Q. What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? A. He cracked up.
Q. What did the rabbit say to the carrot? A. It’s been nice gnawing you.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas? A. Bugs Bunny
Q. What has 8 letters but no letters in it? A. An envelope
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A. Because .. he didn’t have the guts to!
Q. When is a car not a car? A. When it turns into a garage.
Q. Why did the golfer wear two sets of pants? A. In case he got a whole in one!
Q. Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A. Because if they lived near the bay, they would be called bagels!
Q. What’s smarter than a talking parrot? A. A spelling bee!
Q. What did the fridge say to the milk? A. Don’t come in, I’ve got a cold!
Here are some more funny jokes you can tell your friends!
Q: Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
A: He wanted cold hard cash!
Q: Why did a cow go to Hollywood?
A: He wanted to become a MOOOOviestar.
Q: What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
A: “Is that you, Mama?”
Q. What time do you go to the dentist?
A. Tooth-Hurty!
Q. What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it?
Q. What does the spider do on the Internet? A. Makes World Wide Webs
Q. What is the difference between a fly and a mosquito?
A. A mosquito can fly, but a fly can’t mosquito
Several people have written in asking us for some good jokes. Try to guess some of the answers to these great jokes…and then try to stump your friends. Have a lot fun!
